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Friday, December 23, 2011

Tuxedo-clad Group Gathers for Wedding at Anini Beach, Kauai

    The rumors sweeping through the North Shore of Kaua‘i on a recent morning concerning an unusual wedding appear to be untrue. According to early reports, there was a large gathering of short, tuxedo-clad people gathered at low tide in and near the early morning surf at Anini Beach. An eye-witness guest at the Westin, who gave his name as Quincy Magoo, gave this account to this reporter:
    “I was up quite early after a long flight from New York, so when that first gosh-darned rooster started his thing I decided to get up and take a walk. I wished I’d had my binoculars with me, let alone my glasses, but I didn’t. I’m nearsighted, and I was out on the overlook above the beach about 5 a.m. and there looked to be about 40 or so really short people, all of them shall we say, diminutive and every one of them dressed in tuxedos! The darnedest thing. They were just moving slowly, kind of swaying around the water and beach - looked like they were waiting for the preacher or the bride or something.
    “Then it occurred to me, there were no ladies. These were all guys! There were no dresses, just tuxedos. I thought, and then I thought again, and immediately guessed that it was a wedding where there were two grooms, if you know what I mean, and I put two and two together. I assumed they just chose the quiet early morning so that they wouldn’t be disturbed by swimmers and snorkelers and so on.
    “I thought it was pretty cool so I went back to the condo to get my glasses. When I got back to the overlook, I realized my mistake. It wasn’t a wedding of short men at all! It was a group of about 40 penguins that had gotten off a nearby iceberg to frolic on the beach. I said to myself, ‘I’ve got to get a picture of this or nobody will believe it.’ I went back to fetch my camera and by the time I arrived back to the overlook they had already scampered back onto the iceberg and were well on their way to floating off. I tried to take some pictures but my camera battery was dead. It was a real shame ‘cause they seemed to be waving at me from way off with their little paws or fins or wings, whatever those things are. It was cute as all get out!”
    This reporter then asked if he’d seen anyone else observing the event and he said, “I did talk to a couple of college-age guys who looked to be just coming back from a heckuva party and told them all about it and I pointed to the iceberg. They seemed to see the iceberg and all the waving and understand what went on. Of course, they were anxious to go tell their buddies if, and I quote, ‘we could only find our car.’ Unfortunately, I forgot to see if they had a camera.”
    So there you have it, the eye-witness report of event that first appeared to be a highly unusual and inspired gathering for a formal wedding and it turned out just to be penguins visiting the island.

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