Friday, December 21, 2012

Lepley 2012 Family Christmas Letter...

            “New jersey?”
            “No, it’s not new. No I’ve had it for awhile. It still fits.”
            “No, New Jersey!  Your sweatshirt says New Jersey on it!”
            “Oh, yeah, right.  Sorry, I… well, my cousin lives there, she gave it to me. I‘m not from there.”
            “I know you’re not from there, you’re my Dad. I know where you’re from! I’m Bryan, remember?”
             “Oh, yeah, so how ya been?”
            “Waddaya mean, ‘how ya been’? I see you every day. You’re losing it.”
Three winter hats in search
of snow.
            “Did I lose something? Not my fault. ‘Course if you tell me what you lost I can help you find it.”

            “Kathleen, Dad’s losing it. Does Mom know?”
            “Yeah, she knows. Well, sort of. She just thinks he’s deaf”
            “Ya know what I think? I think he’s milkin’ it. Ever since he got his Medicare Card he’s been acting like all the old guys he hangs around with. I think Mom will eventually do the same thing but she’s too busy right now to get older.”
            “Ha! Well, I hope she keeps that up ‘cause baby Andrew loves his three days a week with her.”
            “Yeah, GavBoy’s crazy about his Mondays. Never wants to go home! And Ellie’s art and piano get a big boost from her, that’s for sure.”

             “Roger, are you going to write a Christmas letter this year? You know, Christmas is next week and they’re not going to delay it just for you!”
            “Kristy, geez, I get no respect. All these years I’ve put up with Christmas being on the 25th, with no complaints. Just once I would think we could maybe jam Christmas and New Years onto the same date and I know I’d be ready for that!”
            “Ha! I bet you wouldn’t. Did you take out the garbage?”
            “OK, I’ll write the letter tonight. Yep. Tonight I’m gonna write the letter AND take out the garbage! A double-header!”
            “There you go with your new sports-talk again! I’ll bet you don’t even know what a double-header is?”
            “Well, that’s true, but Ryan mentioned it one time this summer while goofin’ around with his iPad and I swear it had something to do with basketball or rugby or something. Anyway, doesn’t matter, I can still water ski. That’s a sport, isn’t it?”
            “I think so. Well, go write your letter. I need to get my cookies made, finish painting that chair, compose another Shutterfly album, needlepoint a Christmas stocking for Andrew and quilt a new bedspread, all by tomorrow.”

             “Hi Suz, Roger. Yeah, good. You? Say, I gotta write a Christmas letter tonight and you’re the only one I can ask this of ‘cause the rest of the family thinks I’m losing it and I know you can keep a secret. Well, yep, it’s true. So, the thing is, I can’t remember some stuff. Yeah. Well, like, do we still have the cottage on Sylvan Lake? Yes! That’s cool! Did we, like, have a great time there this summer like we always do? Really? That’s great, I love that place. And, Ellie learned how to water ski and Gavin went tubing and caught a bunch of fish? What about Andrew? So, he flopped around in the water and loved it? That’s really nice. Well, is there anything else I should mention in the letter? Yep, you’re right it is a great family. OK, I got it. Thanks! Bye!”

            “Kristy, I got the letter done.”
            “Well, that was quick.”
            “Yep. You know me. Ya get me talkin’ and I just won’t stop.”
            “Hmm, maybe I don’t know you!”
            “Very funny. So, instead of stuffing it into an envelope I’m just gonna post it on my blog and tell people about it on our Christmas card. So, if they wanna read it they can and if they don’t, well, it isn’t cluttering up their recycle bin.”
            “Well, aren’t you my brilliant, loveable, kind, handsome, generous, modern, high-tech, compassionate, brave, loyal husband?!”

 Editors note:  The dialog above is an absolutely accurate, unedited, transcript of true conversations except for the last sentence, which I added at the last minute. R

 Whoops. Forgot to take out the garbage.





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